A few weeks on from my last newsletter, and I think I’m ready for my comeback. With everything that’s been happening recently, I didn’t quite know how I want to show up or what I even want to say. I’ve been keeping true to my belief that a little bit of imperfection is better than nothing of perfection, which meant daily journaling of just a few sentences of what I’ve been up to, what went well, what stuck out—instead of sitting down to do an actual newsletter to send to you. At least that kept my daily writing going forward.
Without going into too much detail, my grandma’s health turned for the worst suddenly, which had a snowball effect on the rest of the family. Worse yet, I live on the other side of Europe so the support I can offer is not as much as I’d like to. I try where I can, but it’s also led to many days of feeling helpless, empty, void of any creativity and motivation—only to then go into panic mode of trying to do everything at once.
I remember vividly when I was about ten years old, cuddling one of my favourite plush toys (a maroon Brontosaurus my parents brought back from a funfair), struggling to sleep because all I could think was, ‘What’ll happen if my grandparents are no longer here?’
For some reason, that thought kept me up that night and I just couldn’t fall asleep.
There was absolutely no reason for me to think this—my grandparents were active and healthy, in fact, they had never really had any health issues whatsoever.
It’s funny how as we grow up, our understanding and perception of age changes. We start seeing how inevitable passing of time is as our parents age, our grandparents age, and we do ourselves, too.
And that’s something we have been faced with—trying to rationalise this unforgiving passing of time that’s brought us stress, worry, financial burdens, and a touch of despair.
But in the wise words of my mum’s astrologist (more like an unqualified therapist), “It’s less about ‘how long will this go on?’ and more ‘this is the situation we’re faced with—and we need to make peace with it.’”
So, that’s something we’ve had to learn to do. Is it easy? No.
I swear I’ve gotten several gray hairs since December just because of the stress of it all. But I also know I need to look after myself, I still need to find joy in the present, and I need to look forward to the future. I still need to make time for creativity because it’s like going to the gym—I know it makes me feel good, I know it makes my life more fulfilled, I just need to sometimes pull myself out of that misery and sulking, and just do it. And I know I’ll be glad I did it.
We don’t always have the luxury of waiting for our muse to appear, sometimes we just need to put in some work ourselves for it to materialise.
Coincidentally, I started a new group project this month for 10 women across Europe—similar to one I led during the pandemic. The idea is to spend just a few minutes every day and capture a photo based on a daily theme. All we use is our mobile phones, a little bit of editing, with some tips & tricks shared by me. That’s it.
None of these participants are experienced photographers (or involved in photography as such) and for me that’s the beauty of it—we all get to see the world through the eyes of others. Pro photographers could easily spend way too long figuring out what to shoot, how to compose it, how to edit it, but here there’s none of that.
We’re just a group of professional women across different industries, locations, lifestyles, and family situations sharing small snippets of our lives as seen through specific themes. Dark. Blue. Water. Hand. Words. And so on.
The project is all about your everyday life. What you see, what you feel, what ordinary moments you spot and turn into a creative photograph. And I don’t know who needed this project more—them or me.
Maybe, just maybe, I subconsciously pulled this idea out because I knew I need something like this myself? We’re halfway through the month now and everyone’s been so generous with sharing their ideas, the different photos they take, and kind words after seeing photos others have taken.
Today’s topic is ‘vibrant’—so this is me, right now. Sat in the garden, with our unkempt bright green grass in the background, wearing my sushi slippers. These are the kind of moments we’re looking for. Real, authentic, frozen pieces of our life as we document it this month.
Though, my actual pick for the theme was this one. I’d just come out of bath and put my phone on charge in our bedroom, right next to this plant and our sunset light. We’re one of those people with Alexa routines—this one turns on our lamp on the ‘sunset’ setting to coincide with actual sunset time. Instant cosiness.
I spotted the plant looking abstract and almost ominous against the warm light, which changes from light yellow to glowing orange, to deep red and all the way back. I waited for it to turn red and snapped this—slightly Saul Leiter inspired—shot on my phone.
Another project I recently revived has been a woman and cat portrait series. I’ve done some cat-themed photography projects before already but this was one I really wanted to work on this year.
I’ve done two shoots specifically for this project so far: both with two beautiful women and their young black cats. Totally accidental, but they’re the ones who really understood my idea and vibed with it.
(You can see full galleries in my photography journal here and here)
The bond between a woman and her cat, it’s special. Celia Hammond, a 1960’s supermodel, knows it and has lived it, too. No pun intended, as famous as she was, she was sick of doing catwalks and swapped fashion industry for pet rescue efforts, specifically focusing on cats.
She went from rescuing cats herself to eventually opening up a couple of clinics in London:
“My agent told me I have to concentrate on one thing, modeling or animals so I gave up my job,” she says.
“I moved to Kent and was driving to London four or five times a week to rescue cats before taking them to a private vet who was absolutely brilliant and would neuter them for £3 each.”
Read the full story here. This one was written during the pandemic and her trust was hit hard—notably because restaurants were closed so food reserves were wiped out, add to it all other financial strains during this time, and it makes for a terrible situation for animals who also greatly suffered as a result of the lockdowns.
Speaking of charities, I actually tried two projects that both failed. Kind of. First one was meant to be with Blue Cross pet charity but they ended up putting ridiculous restrictions on what was a voluntary project I was going to do so I ended up ditching them and self-funded it myself. It was all about cat adoption and how people from different walks of life ended up with their furry friend. You can see more here.
The second one was meant to be a charity project with our local rugby club, aptly named Cas Tigers, but even after a positive meeting, a green light from their marketer, it still ended up getting nowhere. Though, I still hold hope for this one because I believe it could do good to rally up the local community & raise funds and awareness of pet adoption.
All in all, I think you can kind of see the direction I have been going recently. Saying no to the shiny, aesthetic trends for quick wins and easy ego wins, and going back to the roots of what I believe creativity is all about—sharing real stories, doing good, expressing your emotions, creating questions, curiosity, and also involving people. Just your everyday people who are happy to collaborate and create with me.
I suppose that’s what it all boils down to. Creating real stories with real people.
With how much AI gets stuffed into our faces, I think we need more and more of this.
It’s a good way to bring you back to reality and remind you what matters: genuine feelings, relationships, great ideas, conversations with a real human, conflicts that help you grow, imperfection.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my AI for lots of handy tasks, but definitely not for any of the above.
What about you?
P.S. Shoutout to
for featuring the best, loveliest community leader I could ever have the pleasure of collaborating with: in Mia’s latest issue. Check out her newsletter—it’s art, music, & philosophy meets community. A few words from Mia’s newsletter on why this connection worked so well:Alex is my first reader-recommended interview. I’m so thankful to Anete Lusina for putting us in touch. Anete could tell that Alex and I are two picky peas in a pod, motivated by the same thing: connecting with others (and ourselves) through culture. We both love to hunt for and share the good stuff — whatever “good” means to each of us.
That’s all from me this week—if you enjoyed this newsletter issue and haven’t subscribed yet, you can click the button below. I’d love to have you here! Hopefully, catch you next week.✨